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Allow me to get back into your mind, The place where i once held.
Photobucket I'm HongPeng
24041992
Single
Currently Pursuing Higher Nitec on Information Technology
ITE College East
Rock music, My life.

Living in a world, so cold.
Just wasting away.
---


MusicPlaylist
MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

My Loves

Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket They are my pillar of support in times when i'm down.
And i shall be their pillar too.
We share laughters.
And those shall stay with us forever.
Our bonds will never break,
Unless my body breaks.
Love you all, My brothers.
i shall get these in times to come

[x]Pass my N's and go to Higher Nitec
[ ]Boxing Gloves + HeadGear :D
[ ]Razer Full Gaming Set + Gears :DD
[ ]Get my Higher Nitec Cert
[ ]Driving License :DD
[ ]Honda Civic Type R :DD
[ ]Infinite Cash
[ ]YOU :D
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1 2 3
Sunday, May 31, 2009


Im laughing while blogging.

Why?

Cause i find this world is seriously full of jokes.

I, myself is a joke already.

Does giving in even matters?

I doubt so, but i just can't stop from giving in?

Well, if i ever really know the reason why i give in so much, perhaps thats the day i die.

Funny like hell, for i am really a fool.

Stupid things that i've done, The 'Face' that i never wanna lose, The amount of time wasted, The amount of toxin that has damaged my body, The amount of money i spend. All of these, are simply beyond one's imagination.

Haha, and to also see, my brothers on a rocky path. Yet, i don't know what to say to them. I myself still feel stressed up over catching up on studies or rather, the module that i hate.

And also, it still feels as sucky as ever?

Can't help it, and it's never gonna be easy.

The percentage is already like 0%.

What can i do? Nothing, and just like it.

Rofl, i might go bonkers soon.

Saturday, May 30, 2009


Yeah, Didn't managed to take a nap in the afternoon.

I was still feeling the fatigue that resides within, but i simply couldn't keep my mind from thinking.

It was like something real funny. 12.50, i went out to visit the doctor and to have my lunch. An hour later, something almost made me fell off my chair after seeing it.

I went " What the fuck? "

Thus, i decided to make my way down to view for abit, while meeting up ShiGuan.

My original intention was just to see for abit, then go off to a void deck and slack.

But ShiGuan asked me to call Jason.

Called, but he didn't answer.

Awhile later, Jason called, hence we made our way to the side gate and have a short chat. Bid our goodbyes, and was on our way to rot somewhere.

Heard Jason shouted, rushed back.

Saw you there. And my mind went blank, totally.

I didn't know what to say at all, it was like so sudden.

And after that, the phonecall.

Made our way back again, but i went blank again.

I don't know eh. If i don't talk, it just seemed like i don't give a damn to anything. But when i talk, Im just uttering rubbish. And i really forgotten what the heck did i say.

I just know that it was something not really pleasant to the ears. Sorry about it.

After you went back, we went to the playground that was just directly opposite the gate.

Slacked there, till 11+ ?

Was talking to ShiGuan about some matters, that made me feel so stressed about it. While ranting, i just can't get my eyes off the gate.

Why? I don't really know it myself.

I feel like an idiot, really. And i should laugh at myself, for being like an idiot.

Sigh, ain't gonna find it a easy night. D:

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Today's weather is fucking hot.

It was like sauna outside OP. Reached at 12.50, and i sat there waiting till 1.40 before i saw ShiGuan. Many familiar faces passed me, said hello, and talked about how's life going. Well, i really miss OP alot now eh. =.= .

Went to have my lunch along with ShiGuan and Elson. Had Duck Rice :D . Been ages since i had that. After that went walking around aimlessly, looking around. Then saw John and co. at busstop, then took bus with them and chatted about things in school.

I only managed to catch a glimpse of you through the fences. Sigh.

Edited*

Sigh, Been Fifa-ing for almost whole day. Nothing much to do. Too much time and i've got nowhere to spend on. Been reading up some things, while my eyes can see too. Feel like picking up a cigarette, but i don't wanna smoke my life away again. Confusing mind just making me feel more tired than ever.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Sigh, great. Gotta go get a X-Ray scan on my right knuckles. Doctor said that the bone might have cracked resulting in the excruciating pain.

Real crappy ._.

Well, didnt go to school today. Couldn't bear the pain and i placed ice over my knuckles just to make it numb. Went to see the doctor, took painkillers and a pain-killing cream. Made my way down to OP to find Alfred, and he came to my house for awhile before we went to find Shiguan at 4head for dinner. Slacked around, played WWE card game. Cabbed home around 9.30.

I wish i could just see you. Even if it's for a second.

Monday, May 25, 2009


What are YiHong and Manfred looking at? o.O
Now. they looked to other side in unison. Gay. :X
GuoJie and Benjamin. The other two gay partners.
And i wondered who snap this. LOL.
Me : KuanLiang, give me one of the biscuit leh.
KL : Huh?
*SNAP*
Me : Manfred, How to do this question?
Manfred : *Turns to me*
*SNAP*
And KelvinKoh gladly posed for me.
But too bad Benjamin took a candid shot of him.
Last but not least, Jiahao, who always praise himself for being good-looking LOL.
SOMEHOW, MME lesson became phototaking lesson.
Well, It was so bored in the class, hence we started taking photos of each other. Played around, ignoring the lecturer's speech. Her accent is just making us pissed off cause we simply cant comprehend what the fuck is she trying to convey to us.
School, seriously to me, still suck eh. Cant pick up my interest in Multimedia and Java. Sigh. Too bad i cant only take Computer Maintenance as my main module. Multimedia must be included with no questions ask. Damned. Only interested in CMOS makes me feel that i should only come for CMOS lessons for the whole week. Well, i think i might get held back if i were to do this.
Oh, and i bet someone is sleeping like a log already. LOL :X

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Sigh, everything just seemed to be a joke.

Conflicts, Confusion, Rage.

I don't even have the slightest idea on what's going on anymore.

I don't wanna think about anything, but something just simply can't get out of my mind.

Why? I constantly ask myself.

Is it worth it?

Or is it not?

Thinking back, 3 years ago, where the time we went out together.

I've always remembered, that incident, where we were caught by your parents.

I really don't want to let it go, but i have to.

You are at Pasir Ris, While im at Yishun.

The distance is just too far for us to meet regularly, and afterwhich you got locked up by your parents.

It just marked the end of it.

Now, Im constantly thinking of you, and someone else.

You, for whom i regretted being lazy, and resulted in getting caught somewhere near your house as i didn't want to travel to somewhere more safer.

And for the someone, which is now miles away, and regretted being so rash in almost everything.

Wierd eh. If it's possible, i would prefer not to have done things that i totally regret now.

All i can do, is just to laugh at myself, for being such a fool.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


I've been trying to keep my cool.

But it seems that my tolerance have simply reached its limit.

Why?

I feel so..

..

..

Condemned.

Have i ever done anything wrong, till the extent where i deserved this kind of condemnation?

You might not know, Neither do i.

Or perhaps im already a prick in your eyes.

Maybe? Maybe not?

Its been quite some time, yet its still the same.

Perhaps i should just silently dissapear from everything.

I doubt you will ever notice anyway.

The best course for me, i dont even know it myself.

School, sucks.

Gaming, sucks.

Closing the doors behind me, allowing no interference to me.

So i can say as loud as i can,

The things that are on my mind.

..

..

I cant forget about you, S. Neither do i be able to forget someone.

Confusing mind, and i swear, i might just break down any moment.

Get me out of this hell, let me be freed from this torment.

Fuck it..

Monday, May 18, 2009


There, the photo of my daughter. LOL. Cute bo?

Well, Lil Alexis is loved. :D

Recently, many things turned to something unexpected. No doubt, i didnt expect for it to be like this, and i aint got much tolerance about it. Make sure i dont see it again, before i really make sure your fucking face gets stuck on a wall. Do you think showing people that your a bigshot makes you a big figure in other eyes? No. And how old are you only? Come on, get a life. Do you see me doing things like you do when im your age? No. I dont find it weird if you get whacked outside and no one helps, CAUSE YOU REALLY DESERVED IT.

Interested to know who am i referring to? Well, i aint gonna tell you. There's only 4 people that knows this. (:

Friday, May 15, 2009


AND FINALLY, I WENT OUT SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES.

And it really is like, "Oh, Finally!" . Either he saw some clothes he like and he ran out of cash during that period, or he simply is too lazy to move his bones to buy.

Well, met Benny, Royston and Sito at NTUC and afterwhich, proceeded to Macdonald's for our lunch. Had McSpicy, but it aint spicy :/ . Took 855 and headed towards Queensway to shop for our clothes. Had a look around, and i bought 2 shirt at $68. Bought a ring also, at $15. Wanted to look for berms, but didnt found any suitable ones.

Thats it, gonna go out for pool session with JianSheng at OCC :D .

P.S : Dont say i never update eh!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Nothing to write about!

Bye~ :D

And i pawned you all, real hard. Crappy pubs.

Saturday, May 9, 2009


Sorry for not updating, its been on a rough track for me.

Well, though everything is still the same, i still gotta pick myself up and get on with life. Still unable to really focus on studies, and im trying to force myself to study. Passion for DotA is seriously dying, i just couldnt find any more reasons to play DotA so passionately. Everything just seemed to be in a mess, and i have just dumped it aside without giving a care about it. I dont feel like staying at home, but being outside is as boring as being at home.

Sigh, I dont know what to do.

MME's Photoshop test on Friday, gotta read up hard on it. Anyone with photoshop knowledge please help me with it. I suck at multimedia.
I just like you! So what it has become like this, it doesnt change the fact.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Down with my 1st CMOS assignment, CASE STUDY.

History of Memory Chips and Modules used in PC since year 1980
1.PC family history since 1980-2009
2.Which type of memory go with what CPU(intel version)
3.Capacity of these memory technology
Form Factor
-Dual in line package (DIP)
-Single in line memory moudles(SIMM)
-30/64/72pins/168-204pins
-Dual in line memory module (DIMM)
-Rambus in line memory modules(RIMM)
-DDR/DDR-2/DDR-3
-CPU 1980
IBM PC/XT -intel 8088
PC/AT -intel 80286/i80287
PC386 -intel 80386/i80387
PC486 -i80486
Pentium -i80586
Pentium II/III/IV

And great, hard time doing all these. Gotta sacrifice some sleep for the completion of this damned case study. 8.30A.M - 6P.M tommorow, how am i gonna survive i wonder.



For your info, it isnt target any longer. Im just hoping for things to change back to the way it was. Yeah, just like that. No longer have any hope ever since i saw something, and it shall remain that way. That's the best for everything, and i shall close my eye, and take it that i didnt see anything.

And back to idling days, Say hello to the old me once more. (:

Monday, May 4, 2009


Instead of preparing myself for school, im gonna blog for abit.



A friend of mine asked me, "Why dont you get a girlfriend or so?"



I wish i could, but fear just resides within me.



The past relationships, the 2nd that failed terribly, just simply makes me dont wanna go into a relationship with another person.



I've been just idling around for a year or so, didnt even had the urge to get a girlfriend. Yet the feeling just came back naturally.



Yes, and thats when it all began. The fateful DotA game with you, against ZiYao, after hearing that he insulted KeeChing.



I can still remember clearly, i was playing Lina Inverse, Slayer. And you were playing Gondar, Bounty Hunter. I couldnt farm much, and i told ShiGuan that you are "spoiling" my farm, just to cover up my embarrassment. You took a Beyond Godlike streak that game, and you seemed to be so happy. That gave me interest on recruiting you into the team.



Asked you about the recruitment, and you agreed on it. No doubt,during that time i just simply wanted to train up the team, and prepare for a competition which i've aimed for. Didnt had a thought about other things, just trainings.



Day by day, i just couldnt resist myself to wanting to know you more. The urge is there, adrenaline is rushing. I always made excuses to my parents for late dinner, just to DotA with you. Though i still go out to meet Alfred and co. I tried my best to rush home everytime, hoping that you wouldnt have fallen asleep while waiting for us, hence those SMS-es that i send you were to confirm that you havent gone off to sleep. I appreciate the fact that you waited for us, every single time. Thats one of the points i liked about you.



I roughly remember that night, where me, you and ShiGuan were on the phone till 6am. I was speaking through my earpiece, and i thought where were you. But to my dismay, its my earpiece that malfunctioned, and you were waiting on the phone. I was really thankful that you didnt hung up on me, and you waited for quite sometime. Though during the conversation, i fell asleep for abit. Cant hold it as the fatigue within my body was too much.



The time where you asked me out for dinner, cause you have the sudden urge to have the duck rice we had in the afternoon. I told you that i was eating at home, but i can accompany you to have your dinner. You, then rejected my idea of accompanying you cause you dont want me to watch you eat while im not eating. Really had a hard time persuading you, and luckily Alfred called and said he wanna have dinner. Hence making it possible to go over and meet you.


Now that i think back, i find that im foolish enough to let my anger get the better of me. Worse still, Its something that i shouldnt be angry about, cause your not mine. Im such an asshole, a person that should seriously bang a wall hard enough to keep my screws tight. But everything seemed to be too late already, we dont even talk the way before everything happened. I just want everything back to normal, and not some kind of awkwardness coming in between. Is it too much to ask for? Or am i just simply being over paranoid. Everything just feels so wierd already. And i feel that it shouldnt be this way.

I hope that my birthday wish will come true, in time to come.





Sunday, May 3, 2009


Terrible way to start off a day : Waking up from a nightmare.

As stated above, yeah, had almost fallen off my bed. Time was just 10 plus near 11, and i should have been sleeping peacefully. Damned. Woke up, Washed up, and onlined for awhile. Then bath and prepared myself to go out for lunch with my parents. Went to AMK food centre and ate. After which, we walked around in courts, looking for a fan for my parents as theirs had died on them. Didnt saw a suitable one, hence making our way back. Asked my dad to drive me to ShiGuan's house as he just got his new computer, and it doesnt have Warcraft inside. Transferred the folder from my thumbdrive to his computer, and it works wonders. Slacked for awhile, before cabbing down to 807 to find Alfred, Nicholas and Jenson. Made our way to 803 and had a wonderful conversation there. At least, they accompany me and make me feel happy. I dont even feel so troubled when im with them. I went off at 8.40, as my brother was on his way back to fetch us for dinner. Ate at 630, and im back while my brother is off for pool session with his long-time kakis.

School tommorow, AND I DONT WANNA GO. =.=

Saturday, May 2, 2009


Sometimes, i wonder if life is really full of obstacles or what. Im losing the motivation for almost everything. Studies, Gaming, Communicating. I just dont find the reason for continuing all these. Seriously, i dont know what to do anymore. It has never been so confusing before, and its just getting worse. Someone, teach me what to do. I feel like its so suffocating.




Happy 21st birthday to my brother. (:

Yeah, its my brother's birthday. A week after mine. And of course, thats him driving Mazda 3. Reaching total freedom, the 21st year marks a new journey ahead of you. No doubt, the upcoming path is perilous. But, you will surely succeed, and shine above all else. Happy birthday, brother. (:

Went to Costa Sand Resorts to hold my Brother's birthday party. The interior is seriously damn small. There was only a room upstairs, and the room is smaller then my room by 1/4. The hallway was 1/2 the size of my living room. Had a great time smashing cake, creams and spraying on my brother. Well, nothing much to write about. Kinda tired to elaborate more on it.

Sleep time, and hopefully the damned garang-guni dont disturb my sleep again.

Friday, May 1, 2009






























Didnt go to school today again. Saw the timetable, and i just simply cant pull myself up and go to school :x . Im such a lazy bum eh. Well, went to meet ShiGuan outside OP. But something surprised me totally, Jenson and Nicholas was outside too. Both of them didnt go to school also. Went to Macdonalds and had my lunch. Ate McSpicy :D . Slacked, and saw many familiar faces. Had some jokes up there, which i seriously cannot take it but just burst into laughter. Too funny for me to take it. Went to 4head, while Jenson and Nicholas went to woodlands. Waited for Alfred to come back from work and meet us, then made our way back to my house. Bathed, Dinner-ed and we proceeded to Hougang Mall to meet Jenson and Nicholas again to play pool. Played till 10, slacked at somewhere near Jenson's house. Cabbed home at 11.40+ , because many uncle didnt dared to pick up 5 of us on the cab. Only one uncle was kindhearted enough to pick us up and send us home. Thanks alot uncle :D .
Alright, gotta prepare up for tommorow's chalet. (: